Funcarsonline Forums: From Autoexremist.com

The Man Who Sold Porsche's Soul.

Detroit. Longtime readers of this publication know that I have been ruthless in my criticism of Porsche - for one key reason: The car company formerly known the world over for making some of the most brilliant, single-minded, albeit wonderfully quirky sports cars veered off its founder's path several years ago by committing untold resources to building the Cayenne SUV - our nominee for the all-time Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One was Asking. And now, Porsche finds itself scrambling to defend that decision in a market deep in the throes of waning interest in large, luxury SUVs.

The move to actually build a Porsche SUV was the brainchild of one Wendelin Wiedeking, Porsche's relentlessly tedious CEO and the latest Saint in the self-laudatory universe that is the German business world - a world that makes Hollywood's sniveling legions of backslappers look like rank amateurs by the way. Wiedeking's vision? Make an SUV primarily for the North American market that would tap into the apparently insatiable desire American's have (make that had) for giant SUVs. And the profits derived from his vision would allow Porsche to remain independent and become The Most Profitable Car Company in the World.

Wiedeking's marching orders to the Porsche engineering staff were to develop (in conjunction with VW) an SUV in the American idiom, meaning big. Real big. As in 5,500 pounds of bloated, fat-ass, leviathan big. Never mind the fact that Porsche was founded and its reputation forged on the cornerstone of building light, exceedingly maneuverable sports cars that were highly efficient to boot - and that some sort of all-wheel-drive sports vehicle could have been created while adhering to the original vision of the company's inventive genius founder.

No, Wiedeking would get his way - and the ensuing train wreck that unfolded went just about as I predicted it would.

First off, we had the world's automotive media weigh-in with their predictable canonization of a vehicle that wore the famous Porsche crest but was, for all intents and purposes, an overblown, overwrought, overpriced SUV that had all of the distinctiveness of a motorized anvil. Certain members of the media fell all over themselves trying to come up with adjectives that would somehow suggest that the Porsche "magic" was alive and well in this shockingly ordinary SUV, but it was an embarrassing display of futility. Only a few of the brighter media lights had the cojones to call out the Cayenne for what it was, but those few critics were drowned out by the chorus of Porsche sycophants in the press who were blinded by the Porsche "aura" (and who also didn't want to be deleted from the most desirable of Porsche's upcoming invitations at the time - to preview and drive the Carrera GT super sports car that was a year or two around the corner).

But by then an elaborate throne was being constructed in Wiedeking's honor, so it didn't really matter what some of the disgruntled members of the media were saying, because damn if Porsche wasn't selling every Cayenne they could make - and the corresponding profits were piling up exponentially. Soon, mention of Porsche's purist roots - as expressed in such advertising themes as "Excellence was expected" and "There is no substitute" - was jettisoned in company press releases in favor of the more Wiedeking-appropriate boast, "The Most Profitable Car Company in the World." And to top it off, it seemed like every other month Wiedeking was accepting some sort of award from the German business establishment anointing him as "The One."

The transformation of Porsche was now complete according to Wiedeking's vision. No longer the sleepy little iconoclastic sports car maker, Porsche was not only on its way to becoming a full-line automaker - and the new shining example of everything right and good and superior about the German automobile industry - it was a gleaming profit machine for the whole world to envy.

But just as Wiedeking and his troops were basking in yet another victory lap celebrating their visionary leap for Porsche, a funny thing happened.

America's appetite for large SUVs cooled overnight, lost in the numbing, media-hyped din of $3.00+ per gallon gasoline prices, but even worse, America really lost its appetite for $75,000+ SUVs with a Porsche crest on the nose. Cayenne sales did more than just cool - they crashed. In no time, Porsche was looking at Cayenne SUVs piled up like cord wood at dealers all across the country. The one good thing about this development of course was that the constant stream of press releases touting Porsche's profitability and Wiedeking's "genius" cooled too. All of a sudden, Wiedeking's profile was lower than that of a Hollywood teen starlet's in rehab.

Porsche assumed the "magic" would come back, after all, most everything they've touched in the past had turned to gold, so why not now? Why not, indeed. But not this time. Instead, Porsche was grudgingly forced to face an ugly reality - and that reality suggested that the market for poseur-types who absolutely had to have an SUV with a Porsche badge on it had been completely satiated.

And then the inevitable happened - incentives and lost leader leases on the V-6-powered Cayenne appeared. A special "Titanium Edition" was created late last year in an attempt to generate interest in the SUV. But in the ensuing chaos Porsche dealers busied themselves by simply stopping ordering the vehicle as the Germans running North America begged, pleaded and cajoled them not to lose faith.

Porsche did its level best to deflect the reality about the Cayenne from getting in the media, but the sales figures didn't lie, and the brief era of making hand-over-fist profits on the bloated SUV was over. In an attempt to soften the blow, Porsche ended production of the Cayenne in November for the changeover to the new (and largely carryover) model that lasted three months.

But Porsche's flirtation with the reality of the situation didn't last long apparently, because now they're back touting the "newly freshened" Cayenne - with a remarkable combination of hubris and sheer stubbornness - as if reintroducing the truck to a market that has little interest in a 5,500 pound luxury SUV that's lucky to eke out 13 mpg in the city with its optional V-8, even with a feather-footed driver was a good idea.

Porsche unveiled the Cayenne with great fanfare at the North American International Auto Show a couple of months ago, even trundling out their "legendary" executives for the commoners in the press to bow down to, including Wiedeking and the elusive Ferdinand Piech, the maniacal Chairman For Life of VW, aka The Guy Who Can't Let Go - a guy so hell bent on forcing his will on everyone under his purview that destroying everything he touches in his path is a perfectly acceptable option - as long as it feeds his unfathomably out of control ego.

And guess what? The new Cayenne was met by yawns from the assembled media who were only interested in grilling Piech on his latest plan to save VW, which was why he was spirited away before anyone could take a shot at him.

Why isn't the revisited Cayenne generating any buzz? Because despite its nose job and new headlights, it's still the same overblown, overwrought, overpriced SUV that the old one was. Only now Porsche executives have their backs well and truly up against the wall because if they can't resurrect their golden cash cow they will be in deep trouble, the kind of trouble that no genius - real or imagined - can extricate themselves from.

To that end, Porsche is pulling out all the stops in its attempt to market a vehicle that no one really cares about, complete with a painfully embarrassing insert in last weekend's national newspapers that actually had the temerity to link the beautiful first Porsche sports roadster (with the headline "Grandfather") and the legendary 911 sports car (with the headline "Father") to the new Cayenne - as if there were any connection whatsoever.

If this ad doesn't drive the final stake through the heart of Porsche purists everywhere, I'll be shocked.

Linking the Cayenne to Porsche's historical touchstones is an overtly fraudulent marketing strategy, a fool's errand that is destined to fail no matter how much money Porsche spends and how many embarrassing, cringe-inducing ads by its advertising agency - Carmichael Lynch in Minneapolis - touting the Cayenne's "legendary handling" are generated.

The bottom line in all of this is? Instead of having a lithe, fun, all-wheel-drive performance machine that would be perfectly positioned for today's market and the burgeoning environmental responsibility movement that's taking over this country and the world, Porsche has an oh-so-yesterday gas-sucking behemoth that stands out as a monument to short-term thinking of the highest order.

The Porsche Cayenne is dead in the water because it's simply the wrong vehicle at the wrong time from the wrong car company - and no amount of money spent on its reintroduction is going to change that.

But the real travesty in all of this is that Wendelin Wiedeking has managed to destroy Porsche's heretofore untouchable brand image in one product cycle, and now the former exclusive maker of sports cars is fumbling with a truck that's out of place and out of time, while hurrying to market a four-door sedan that will put the nail in the coffin of any residual imagery Porsche has gained on the race tracks of the world.

And for the record, Porsche's profitability talk (they announced record profits yesterday for the fiscal first half of 2007) is now solely attributed to the increase in value in its stake of VW - there's no mention of the Cayenne anywhere.

The dichotomy that currently exists within Porsche is glaring.

On the one hand, you have the True Believers who churn out high-performance variants of the 911, Boxster and Cayman sports cars and revel in the development of their LMP2 racing program with their outstanding Porsche Spyder racing machines.

On the other, you have Wiedeking and his legion of bureaucrats who have little use for Porsche's heritage and tradition or its founder's legacy. Their only focus is on laying claim to the title "The Most Profitable Car Company in the World." And it should be noted here that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be profitable, that's not my point in the least. Profit is a very good thing. But the way Porsche has gone about it - thanks to Wendelin Wiedeking - is dead wrong.

In the right hands, Porsche could easily have made soaring profits while reveling in its glorious history and reinforcing its brand image at the same time. But in the wrong hands, you have a bunch of stumblebum executives careening around doing dumb things - and repeatedly, I might add - because they simply take it for granted that Porsche's sterling brand reputation will always be there, and they refuse to take into account how difficult it is to maintain that brand reputation once you have it - or how exceedingly difficult it is to get that brand reputation back once you've screwed it up.

It's not often a car company of Porsche's stature does a face plant into the Sea of Mediocrity, but thanks to Wendelin Wiedeking - who sold Porsche's soul to the god of short-term profitability - Porsche is now a shining example of how a once-hallowed brand can be destroyed literally overnight.